"My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter, I was raised to give up."      - George Costanza, Seinfeld

"I found it hard, it was hard to find. Oh well, whatever, nevermind."      - Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

"Once a newspaper touches a story, the facts are lost forever, even to the protagonists."      - Norman Mailer

"Keaton once said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Soze."      - Verbal Kint, The Usual Suspects

"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."      - Woody Allen

"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it."      - Henry David Thoreau

"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory."      - Albert Schweitzer

"Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down."      - Jimmy Durante

"Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"      - The Narrator, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

"Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."      - Albert Einstein

"I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, 'Got any shoes you're not using?'"      - Steven Wright

"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it."      - Groucho Marx

"There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep."      - Homer, The Odyssey

"An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing."      - Anonymous

"Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it."      - John Lennon

"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."      - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."      - Mark Twain

"You don't need no gun control. You know what you need? Bullet control. I think all bullets should cost $5000. You know why? If a bullet cost $5000 there'd be no more innocent bystanders."      - Chris Rock

"How well I have learned that there is no fence to sit on between heaven and hell. There is a deep, wide gulf, a chasm, and in that chasm is no place for any man."      - Johnny Cash

"I left your house this morning about a quarter after nine.   Coulda been the Willie Nelson, coulda been the wine.   When I left your house this morning,  it was a little after nine.   It was in Bobcaygeon I saw the constellations reveal themselves one star at a time."      - The