"Marge I swear, I never thought that you would find out."
December 25, 2024
Homer's Quote of the Week
Total 218 Posts
"We'll die together, like a father and son should."
"English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England!"
"If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV."
"I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff. And I want in."
"Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!"
"Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?"
"First you don't want me to get the pony, then you want me to take it back. Make up your mind!"
"It's like the story of David and Goliath, except this time David won."
"Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves."
"When are people going to learn? Democracy doesn't work."
"My wife's not some doobie to be passed around! I took a vow on our wedding day to bogart her for life."
"Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy."
"God bless those pagans."
"Let us celebrate this agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk."
"When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power...like God must feel when he's holding a gun."
"I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight!"
"Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually!"
"No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American Way."
"I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
"Ah, the Luftwaffe. The Washington Generals of the History Channel."
"How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"
"Don't mess with the dead, boy, they have eerie powers."
"We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you?"
"It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone."
