We attended my Uncle Bruce's wake today. This prompted many discussions with my five year old son and three year old daughter, before, during and after the visitation.
My wife and I decided long ago to openly discuss such unfortunate parts of life with our kids so death wouldn't become something scary but a natural part of the human life cycle. Before we left to pay our respects, we talked about what had happened, where we were going and what it all meant.
I'm frequently blown away by how understanding kids are if you talk to them frankly and respectfully. My five year old in particular seems to have an extremely healthy grasp on the subject, fully understanding that a loved one had passed away leaving behind a very sad wife and children. This made him sad, and he wanted to say goodbye before tomorrow's burial. My three year old actually asked to approach the body and seemed totally respectful of the situation. Both were pleased our flowers were by the casket and roses were included in the bouquet.
Tonight, as we ate spaghetti and sausage, we talked about Uncle Bruce, about his spirit and body. It was a great discussion and I was so pleased with their perspective. I've only been in this parenting game for six years, but it's become clear to me that our young are primarily limited by us. They're most capable and understanding if entrusted to be so. Today, James and Michelle made me very proud.
