Toronto Mike

Whorella Mundane's Manic Ramblings

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When I shared Gord Downie's Hallelujah with a reader named Whorella Mundane, she told me I redeemed all of Canada.  I must have thought that was pretty cool because it prompted me to write this.

I just got another message from Whorella Mundane.  Here's her manically wicked email in its entirety.

Hey toronto mike – i'd have written earlier but pipes broke in the house and water flowed downward – oh it was dark I tell ya!
well first I mean you gave me this gordon downie track I actually tried to get the mp3 from the DVD – but I couldn't figure out how – so I'd sit there watching the movie – over and over and over. And I've heard two other versions of that song and I love them both but wow ... Gordon downie.
But I have a proposition for you ... You already have my complete respect and I saw your blog and thought it was funny. But how would you like to engage in a little banter on your blog? Like if I just show up and post stuff in comments or something? But I really am this hated character. When I met gordie many years ago he said I had quite a following and the band heard about me everywhere agh! I didn't dare ask what he heard ...
But yeah we could converse out there - only I'd be kinda dogging canada but in this way like 'aw canada I love you but 1 out of 6 of you is living in poverty and dogging the us isn't helping those people.'
I want to fight with canadians over one point: we shouldn't be fighting!
But see I would try to do this with the tragically hip fans and they didn't think I was funny at all!
I'd been to the maritimes – PEI, baby! I loved canada until I got to the internet. When I used to be famous ... Seriously it was hilarious. I was driven all over nova scotia in a big old bus with my name on the front. Well "kathy jo" - not whorella!
I added "mundane" after the tragically hip outtake from 'in between evolution", "the utlra mundane"
So the thing is – I gotta admit you canadians are ahead by a century – but I guess I kinda think you're just behind the US a little bit and the shit I see going on around me everyday – I know it's headed north
East
South
West
It scares the shit out of me – the border is not between countries, but classes defined by power. People gotta find a way to get together and to me, that means we gotta get 'em talking. But the effect I have is this: after ten years, the tragically hip fans gave up on being able to get rid of me on the band's usenet group and all left! I'm the only one there ...
Oh yeah I was famous for being a huge left wing political activists but still, the tragically hip fans hated me! I mean they flamed me – you can't imagine. Whew! And I kept saying, "but we all love the same music, right? That's reason enough to not to fight, right?"
But you know how those kids can get! So be careful – whew. Such a blend of the sweetest kids in the world with a scattering of drunken retards.
Hey – the phantom power tour – calgary saddledome – I was in the f'n phantom zone, dude! I was inches from gordon downie who started taking his pants off to show us a big bruise he got playing hockey! Tighty whities!
So yeah – I talked to him – he called me many years ago. But man I've been a huge fan since 1995.
So yeah a lot of canadians have hated me and one time a work some consultant comes in my office and goes, "I just talked to a client who said you're a big trouble maker and a legend in canada." and I thought I was gonna get fired but he just looked at me like 'wow'
Yeah you don't hear that everyday!
So when I said you redeemed all of canada – on one hand I really meant it – I've seen some brutal behavior on the part of the fans and even had a big love affair with a hard core canadian hip fan who killed himself.
Oh toronto mike! What I have seen!
The cowboy junkies sang 'sweet jane' for me and my friend madge when playing here in carnegie hall ...
See how cool I am? I'm kind of a secret – well people read my shit, they just ... Don't admit it. But they hated me 'cause they said they couldn't help read my shit. And they couldn't! They couldn't just leave me alone and whew hew!
Yeah ... I met gordon downie after rob killed himself in the winter of 98. The hip were playing in state college PA and we got there early and the door to the club was wide open and no one was around, but we could hear the band rehearsing so we just went in and had our own concert! Well until we got kicked out but still.
But that night I asked gordie what he thought about a book – a collection of my columns I'd sent him – and he said he only saw a handful of times, where the music had really permeated the writer's life. And that was me, yo! And he said he wanted to name his next record, "my music at work"
And in 2000, that record came out and in the video, he's wearing a shirt I sent him with a copy of my final column which was mainly about him calling me. And still, the fans hated my ass dang! So then after awhile I just made a bunch of canada jokes – just jagging around ... But trying to warn them.
Oh we woke gordon downie up in the middle of the night once! Yeah ... But he didn't yell at us. But I had his phone number! And madge said he wouldn't have given it to me if he didn't want to call.
But I mean imagine it ... Calling gordon downie. What an f'n heart attack! And madge kept letting it ring and hanging up and calling back and letting it ring twice and hanging up and on the third time he picked up like he wanted to kill someone agh! You should have seen her face! Gordon? Gordon downie?
But he was real nice – aw we were all drunk and dancing up and down like adolescent nightmares after the call was over.
I just wished the canadians would have talked to me. I can tell you what the story is down here and we gotta find a way to talk to the rednecks, christians etc -
I mean desperate times call for desperate discourse
Well
My real name is kathy jo kramer and I love you for sending that song
Oh and when I said you redeamed canada – I did mean it tongue-in-cheek like ... Canada doesn't need as much redeeming as the US.
Not yet – but power shifted up there and I fear for ya!
So yeah okay I'll go now ... Thanks for reading and for the best gift – a song by gordon downie ...

I googled Whorella Mundane and learned that fellow Hip fans really do despise here.  Here's what direwolf74 said about her in The Titanic Terrarium.

She was an avid poster at the old newsgroup (alt.music.tragically-hip), and from what I've seen, she still is. Her posts are notorious for being incredibly long-winded, bizarre, and completely off-topic. They're actually more like personal diary entries. Often times we knew stuff about her personal life that we didn't really need to know. She also had/has a rather unhealthy obsession with Gord Downie, which frighteningly straddled the line between fan and stalker. She once claimed that the green shirt that he wore often during the Phantom Power tour (and in the "Poets" video) was one that she had personally sent him. I never really believed that one myself. I'll admit though, she was pretty fun to argue with. Anyway, that pretty much sums up Whorella. And that's all I have to say about that.

"Long-winded, bizarre and completely off-topic" sounds like an accurate description.

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