The weekly quiz in yesterday's Star asked who had won more Juno awards: Alanis Morissette or Gordon Lightfoot. The answer, unfortunately, is Morissette. I got it right because year's of trivia have taught me it's always the harder to believe answer with questions like that.
Alanis Morissette's "Ironic" was a smash hit that we were all singing back in the mid-90s, but the song was grammatically incorrect. The examples of irony weren't actually ironic. Here are the lyrics modified so they actually are ironic.
An old man turned ninety-eight. He won the lottery and died the next day... of chronic emphysema from inhalation of the latex particles scratched off decades' worth of lottery tickets.
As you'll read, the truly ironic phrases aren't nearly as catchy.
